Embarking on a journey to a foreign land is undoubtedly exciting, but the prospect of forging new friendships and initiating a social life from scratch can be nerve-wracking. Many share this experience, and I can confirm that the fear of not finding like-minded individuals or companions can cast a shadow on the excitement of exploring a new culture. Personally, this was a significant concern for me, especially as I landed in the USA at the end of January, with my birthday soon which is on the 17th of February. The thought of potentially celebrating my birthday alone haunted me, making the initial weeks in a foreign country even more daunting. However, through various experiences, I discovered that stepping outside of your comfort zone is the key to building lasting connections.
My journey to the USA was after my internship abroad in Spain, where I found it challenging to make friends due to the small size of the company. There were only 4 interns at the time and I became good friends with them. A week after living in Spain, I resorted to using Bumble BFF, a decision that would prove to be a game-changer. The app introduced me to individuals who eventually became lifelong friends. Reflecting on this experience, I realized that the dynamics of meeting people varied from one country to another. In the USA, attending school presented many opportunities to connect with people of the same age, making the app less necessary. Despite this, the lesson remained clear, putting yourself out there and stepping beyond your comfort zone opens the door to meaningful relationships.
On the first day of orientation in the USA, I found myself navigating through tables in search of a place to sit. The anxiety of choosing the right spot lingered, knowing that the people around you on the first day often become your initial circle of friends. In my previous blog where I shared how fate led me to meet another Dutch girl at a breakfast buffet in Spain, a similar stroke of destiny occurred. Unsure of where to sit, we decided to join a group of girls at a table that seemed almost full. Taking that leap of faith and breaking the initial awkwardness, we engaged in conversation, marking the beginning of friendships that have endured. This experience highlights yet again the importance of going outside your comfort zone and taking the initiative to connect with others. DO NOT be shy and calm but rather extroverted and hyper. You will not make friends if you decide to sit alone at a table and hope that people talk to you. Even though you are shy, remember that all of those people at the orientation are looking for friends just as much as you are. Therefore, going up to people to connect or talk to is not weird at all.
While at the orientation, I realized that asking people to hang out or suggesting an exchange of social media accounts is a powerful tool for fostering connections. These simple gestures go a long way in establishing the groundwork for friendships. The act of reaching out, whether it be to join someone for coffee or connect on social media, breaks down the barriers that often hinder the formation of relationships. In my case, these proactive steps led to enduring friendships that enriched my experience in a foreign country.
Another tip is to connect in class. I think that all of these tips are all about stepping outside of your comfort zone by talking to other people but that is the exact way to do it. When you sit in class just turn your head and ask the name of the person sitting next to you. Connecting in class is a subtle yet effective way to expand your social circle. I firmly believe that all these tips revolve around the common thread of stepping outside your comfort zone, and engaging with your peers in class is a prime example of this principle in action.
During my initial days in the USA, I applied this approach consistently. On the first day of classes, I made a conscious effort to introduce myself to those around me. A simple exchange of names often blossomed into conversations about shared interests, backgrounds, and aspirations. The classroom setting provides a structured environment where people are generally open to making new acquaintances. By taking the initiative to connect during these moments, I found that I was not only expanding my network but also cultivating friendships that extended beyond the academic realm. Another tip is that open-mindedness is key. Embrace cultural differences and be genuinely curious about the local customs and traditions. Attend local events, festivals, or community gatherings to immerse yourself in the culture and meet like-minded individuals. Showing respect for the host country's way of life goes a long way in establishing connections. However, if you really are a shy person and prefer not to talk to random people or start conversations, you always have the app Bumble BFF. I think that in Barcelona, Spain where I was for my internship, this app is more used than in the USA. Mainly because Barcelona is a really international city with many expats, so a lot of people are looking to connect. However, here in the USA it is definitely a shot worth trying to use the app to make friends!
In conclusion, the apprehension of starting anew in a foreign land is a universal experience, yet it is within these moments of discomfort that the most profound connections are formed. My journey in the USA taught me that stepping outside of your comfort zone is not just a piece of advice; it is a transformative strategy for building lasting friendships. Whether it is joining a full table at orientation or initiating a conversation with a fellow student, these bold steps can pave the way for friendships that transcend borders and last a lifetime. Embracing the unknown and proactively reaching out to others can turn the initial anxiety of solitude into a chapter of unforgettable experiences and cherished connections.