Written by Pablo Greco, J-1 Exchange Student
Initially, it may take a while to become familiar with American students, but the key is not to fear approaching people. The most challenging thing is often to initiate conversation and maintain it. Once you overcome that, then friendships begin. Most individuals are shy because they fear rejection, but a little risk and being friendly can have great payoffs. Most American students are open to meeting new individuals, as long as you show them a sincere interest in them. They are as eager as you are to make friends, but someone has to take the initiative and break the ice first. If you just sit around waiting for other people to come to you, you will probably end up by yourself.
Waiting to make friends at school is one of the biggest mistakes. Actually, most students sit through class, take notes, and leave as soon as class is over. The atmosphere of the classroom isn't exactly conducive to meeting people, as many American students have busy lives and go home or to another activity as soon as class is over. Based on personal experience, class discussion is short and goes over homework, tests, or projects. No sooner are classes over than individuals disperse, and there is no time to delay the conversation. Thus, friendship based on class only is not ideal. The ideal way to meet new individuals is by joining a student organization, fraternity, sorority, or sport club. These organizations are an important part of college life in the US and are extremely popular among students. Joining a club not only introduces you to new individuals but also allows you to mingle with other people who like the same thing. When you are a member of an organization, it is easier to break the ice because you already have something in common with the members.
I stepped out and located a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu club within my area, and it was the best decision that I ever made. It exposed me to new friends and playing a sport that I loved. Being friends with friends in a sports team is easy because you automatically connect with people who share the same interests. You've got a connection because you work and train in the group and are depending on one another. If you see people regularly, friendship comes naturally easy. You don't have to establish conversation because by training together you are building those friendships. Friendship may not develop at first because you're not hanging out chatting all day, but merely hanging out as individuals talking about what training is occurring does create strong connections. If sports are not your interest, there are plenty of other clubs to become a part of. American schools offer debate teams, cultural clubs, music clubs, gaming clubs, language exchange clubs, and even food clubs. These clubs are an excellent means of getting to know American students in an environment where they are already willing to meet new individuals.
It's also a great idea to attend events on campus.
Some of the social activities' colleges hold include parties, networking events, and cultural events. These are the best ways of meeting in an informal setting. Members will be friendly and open because the purpose of such events is to encourage students to
mix. As opposed to when they are in class learning, the students will most probably interact and introduce themselves in social gatherings. From my experience, American students are more sociable and vocal at parties than in class. They are solemn and focused on lectures but are much more laid-back and sociable at social events. This is why attending extracurricular activities to try to network is a great idea. Regardless of whether they are game nights, music festivals, or college fairs, these events have a relaxed setting that makes it easy to mingle.
To become friends with American students, you have to step out of your comfort zone.
Try to start a conversation with other classmates, gym individuals, or club members even if you're shy. Something as basic as "Hi, how are you?" or "What do you think of this activity?" can trigger a great conversation. Most international students worry about their English, but most American students don't mind small mistakes. They'll usually appreciate meeting someone from a different culture and value the effort. Overall, people are curious about different backgrounds and enjoy encountering international students.
One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is to ask questions. People tend to enjoy discussing themselves, so inquiring about their hobbies, studies, or experiences is a good way to establish rapport. At a social event, attempt to ask:
"Are you involved in any clubs on campus?"
"Do you know of some nice places to visit around here?"
"What's your major, and why do you like it?"
These simple questions to ask can be icebreakers, and they start great conversations. The more interested you are in people; the more friendships will go more easily. There is no way relationships are built overnight.
Being in touch and taking interest in others is required to develop good friendships. This includes regular attendance at club meetings, keeping in touch with new people, and showing up at events every now and then. If you've met somebody at a party or get together, don't hesitate to call them the next day. A simple "Hi, great meeting you! Let's catch up over coffee if you'd like." shows you're interested in staying in contact. Many connections never become friends because people don't make the effort to follow up. Taking that small e@ort can take you far. What worked incredibly well for me was being consistent.
Aside from consistently attending my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training sessions and attending team outings whenever I was invited, I went out and spoke to my team-mates. The frequent interactions then developed into lifelong friendships. This also applies to social events. Attending one event is not sufficient; however, if you attend several, you will begin to recognize people and they will begin to recognize you. This enables
friendships to develop naturally. It might be hard to make friends with American students at first, but it becomes easier once you start talking to them. You need to make the first move and put yourself in places where you will meet people, rather than waiting for them to approach you. You will feel more comfortable the more you socialize.
Since the majority of American students take part in extracurricular activities, joining a student organization or sports club is one of the most effective ways to get to know them. Attending parties and events within the campus, where students tend to be more receptive to mingling and meeting new people, is another excellent way.
Most importantly, take action. The initiation is the most difficult part, but the friendships will naturally develop once you initiate. Just be open to new things, stay in touch with new individuals, and follow up with them. You will develop wonderful friendships in the long term that will optimize your study abroad experience.